Post it without a picture if you have to

Hey there, world.

Yesterday, I read Steal Like an Artist, by Austin Kleon. I filled up six pages of notes and doodles in my notebook as my brain transferred the ideas I read into made-for-me inspiration and advice. The book rocks; you should definitely read it. But that's not what this post is about--this post is about being inspired, feeling the creative high positive ideas pump into your system, and then....not making anything, not sharing a piece of it with anyone.

It's 4:36 in the morning and I have a notebook full of ideas and a laptop with never-finished projects and a project room with the remnants of several crafts and planned but un-executed parties. I realized, daydreaming about all the amazing work I was going to create after this book gave me a kick in the pants, that nothing had really changed. I was still going to have a lot of ideas and never do anything about them, unless I actually did something about them this time around.

So, I wanted to write about how to do this, share some of the inspirational high. But I got caught up in ideas for a picture for the kind of post I thought was presentable to the internet. I looked through my phone's photo library, couldn't really find anything that would work, and then put the post idea on my list of post ideas. Which was basically consigning the idea to death by neglect.

Post me without a picture, my idea shrugged his little shoulders in my mind, and smiled at me hopefully. What's the worst that could happen; it doesn't have to be perfect, you know.

Smart little guy, this post idea in my head.

So here I am, writing about this experience. I don't have a photo, I don't have a clever way to make this post seem acceptable, or good, or worthy. It's certainly not perfect. But it exists! It's one more notch in the belt of WORK I've got to create if I ever want my creations to be as good as my taste. Let go of perfection and make things!

Let me tell a story from my past:

I lived in Korea as a missionary, and for 9 months had lunch at the same place four to five times a week. A woman named Ee Seung-Ah and her husband owned the restaurant, cooked the food, served the patrons. We became friends, I played with her children, she gave me trinkets and free desserts, we talked and cried and laughed together. When I left the country, she gave me a very personal gift (a book she loved as a child) and we exchanged contact information.

She wrote me an email, in Korean, and I responded immediately. I had learned to speak Korean by conversing with Korean people; writing was much more difficult and time-consuming.

She wrote me another email. I thought about the things I would say in my response, but felt overwhelmed by my inadequacies in the language. I put the task on my to-do list.

After some time, she wrote me a third email.

I never responded.

I always meant to.

Four years later, my husband sat down after church one Sunday and read an email from one of the families he had met during his own mission trip in Germany. He responded immediately. I told him about Seung-Ah and how much I missed her. How much I regretted abandoning her.

He told me to write a letter right then and there. Years after living in Korea. Now with even more limited grasp on the language. "Write it in English if you have to, just write it," he said.

I wrote.

She never responded.

I can't find her and I know I hurt her.

My perfectionism didn't kill an idea or a creative project; it let one of the most rewarding relationships I've ever had die.

So, my personal goal, is to go make things. Write letters. Share my ideas. Even before they're perfect, if that's the only way they'll come to fruition. I'd rather have a tangible attempt at the ideas I find valuable, than neglectfully file them away into oblivion, hoping for the day I can make them "perfect."

Do you have a book you want to write? Is there a cupcake business occupying your daydreams? Have you always wanted to design snowboards?

Is there a relationship you should nurture?

It might not be perfect, it might not be pretty. But I invite you to join me and just do it. Try. Just start writing. Make cupcakes for your next lunch meeting. Reach out to someone. Write a blog post. Post it without a picture if you have to.

Springtime at the Temple

We drove to D.C. yesterday to visit the temple. We had a wonderful time being in the temple together, and the day was absolutely gorgeous. The temple grounds were abloom with tulips, cherry blossoms, and vivid color.

I love this shot. We went for a walk in the flowery trees and I took this from a hill near the visitor's center. I wish we could have stayed all day, it was lovely!

A Lovely Easter

I had such a lovely Easter this weekend. Thanks to a popular LDS video, many of my friends have been posting #BecauseofHim thoughts and pictures in their social media feeds--I had the chance to read the testimonies and the blessings of my friends from all around the world throughout the weekend. It made the holiday seem truly recognized, as we united in our celebration of the Lord's Atonement and His sacrifice for us.

I was also given the wonderful opportunity to sing during sacrament meeting service at church on Easter Sunday. Our ward music director asked me to sing a favorite song of hers, O Divine Redeemer, by Charles Gounod. The lyrics describe a plea to the Savior for redemption, pardon, and help. Preparing this song helped me renew my gratitude for the Lord, and I felt myself grow closer to Him as I studied the message and sang my testimony. Here is the beautiful rendition by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir:

After church, we made dinner for some friends for the ward. Last year at this time, Nick and I weren't quite engaged, yet and we made the same prime rib roast dinner for some church friends on Easter Sunday together. So I guess now it's a tradition! It makes for a very special, fresh dinner--and it is so easy to make! I will have to make a post about that meal....

Happy Easter!

Book of the Week: The Night Circus

I have a girl crush on my librarian. Several months ago, I chatted with one of the cute girls who works at our local library about a book I was just returning. We found quite a bit to say about the book, and discovered we had been reading many of the same works. It is so exciting to find someone who reads what you read; it's as though you speak the same secret, magical foreign language. Well, before I could properly ask her name and introduce myself (never mind that she has my info up on the computer screen while she's checking my books out for me), a line of patrons formed behind me and we said a hasty goodbye. 

On subsequent library visits, I surprised myself by hoping she'd be working so that we  couldtalk again. I even mentioned to my husband how nice it would be if we became friends. Unfortunately, I couldn't find a chance to talk again. We would say hello to each other briefly, as she assisted other patrons, but we never managed to both be free at the same time. One awkward encounter I'll supply: I approached the desk to check out a book (timing it perfectly to arrive there as she was finishing with someone else) and just as she turned to me, the other librarian stepped in to take care of me. She (the should-be-my-friend girl) stood next to this other librarian, then said hi. I mentioned I had a book on hold. She got it off the shelf as the other librarian looked up my name, then turned to find it on the shelf and they nearly ran into each other. As the librarian was checking my book out, the girl smiled at me, I tried to think of a way to start a conversation over the librarian's shoulder, and then she just shrugged her shoulders and turned away to help someone else. My husband witnessed all of this and laughed all the way home. He thinks I must have been twenty times more nervous and crazy about courting him if I put this much thought into making a new friend. But I can just tell, we would be really great friends!

Anyway, I dashed to library before flying to Ottawa for work last week and guess who was working at the desk with no other patrons floating around needing help?? The girl, that's who. I returned my book and got all flustered, wishing I wasn't wearing sweatpants and one of Nick's big shirts. I started to walk to the shelves to browse and then turned back to her and asked if she had any recommendations. We talked for a bit about what kind of book I was looking for and then her face lit up and she ran to the back and came out with a novel in hand. I thanked her for the book, and introduced myself, and learned her name. All of this background story to tell you: I read a delightful story this week, thanks to my librarian friend's recommendation. It is called The Night Circus, by Erin Morgenstern. 

(Aside--How cool is it that her surname is also the surname of the fictional author of The Princess Bride?? I was immediately intrigued.)

So, you shouldn't read this book unless you're looking for a story that will whisk you away to a mysterious, enchanting world dripping with romance, conflict, and imaginative magic. I walked around dreamy-eyed, thinking about the fantastical while I worked this week. This is the story of two magicians, for lack of a better word, pitted against each other in a battle of abilities--the ability to manipulate matter, to change the colors of a dress, grow a garden of ice crystals, bewitch umbrellas to truly repel rain. With such powers, they create beautiful experiences of wonder for their friends and circus guests. Devastatingly, they discover that there can and must be only one victor in this competition. In order to survive, one must destroy the other. 

I can't tell you anymore--go discover it for yourselves! It isn't too far-fetched and magicky. It's accessible magic in a believably unbelievable early 1900's world. Trust me, and trust my new librarian friend: this is a feel-good book that is perfect for Spring Break, pool-side, or on snuggled up in bed. 

Inspired by the book, I am toying with the idea of planning a midnight feast this summer for some friends. Sparkly strands of lights and decadent dishes just for fun, with a Night Circus decor theme. Yes, yes, yes. 

Because of Him

Have you seen this, yet? The powerful music, the beautiful images, and the poignant, simple words combine to deliver the message of the Good News of the Gospel: Because of Jesus Christ we can live again! We can create goodness and love fully now! Because of the Savior, I know that I can be with my wonderful husband forever, and enjoy never-ending happiness. Because of Christ's Atonement, I can overcome my mistakes, learn to be like Him, and grow to understand God's love.
This video has been an inspiring part of my Holy Week. I'm in Ottawa for work, and I have plenty of time between shows to hang out at my hotel. Instead of reading or surfing the web, I've made it a priority to study the Book of Mormon and some of the General Conference messages from the latest session. It has helped me be much more aware of the Spirit and sensitive to promptings to ponder the Savior and His example. I am so grateful to recognize that I was receiving this blessing of the Holy Ghost whispering to my soul and reminding me to think about Jesus. It has increased my awareness of my many other blessings and filled my heart with gratitude. It has made the anticipation of Easter Sunday sweet and meaningful, as I look forward to celebrating the accomplishment of the Lord's Atonement, which makes my life possible, meaningful, and purposeful.
I hope this video brings the Spirit into your week. I hope that you feel the love of the Savior and our Heavenly Father during this special time of the year! All good things are because of Him!

Book of the week: The Aviator's Wife

Happy Thursday, everybody! It's time for a book recommendation. I'm so happy to share The Aviator's Wife, by Melanie Benjamin. I found this book in a tiny bookshop with an overstuffed couch in the Garden District of New Orleans. I brought it with me on a work trip to Toronto this week and I couldn't put it down: I read it during my flight and while waiting for my luggage at the baggage carousel, I stayed up past my bedtime two nights in a row, and I snuck in a few pages before each of my shows this week. This is a fictional account of Anne Morrow Lindbergh, wife of the man who first flew across the ocean from New York to Paris. Benjamin breathes life into historical facts and paints a heroine who feels real and close to the reader--so that we relate to this woman who, indeed, lived a very unique life! 

The story begins in Mexico City, where a young college student, Anne Morrow, first meets Charles Lindbergh, a real American Hero. He's just completed the infamous solo flight across the Atlantic and is balancing his thirst for achievement and adventure with a need to escape the relentless hounding of the press. He chooses Anne as a companion, someone whom he can trust and rely upon. Anne thrills at this unexpected, exciting twist of events in her quiet life. But she soon realizes Charles has high expectations for her role not only as his wife, but also as his only crew on his many expeditions and missions. Set in Anne's voice, the novel explores the couple's tumultuous relationship, adhering accurately to historical fact. 

I learned a lot from Anne's journey. Her desire to please her husband pushes her to do amazing things: she learns Morse code, how to navigate using the stars, and earns her pilot license. And yet, she's always left yearning for validation--love--from Charles. The epigraph at the beginning of the book is a quote from Antoine de Saint-Exupery, "But the eyes are blind. One must look with the heart." I found myself pondering this concept as Anne, an author and an artist, struggles to align her beliefs and world-view with those of her husband, a scientist (really). You can see her desires being molded throughout their marriage. I just want to share two excerpts.

This first one is when Anne is trying to decide what to do after college, professing to want more than just becoming a housewife and an entertainer: 

"'But what about love? What about passion? What about--more?' I flung my pencil down with a dramatic gesture that surprised both of us...'I don't know about you, but I don't want to be one of those dried-up matrons you see at bridge parties, scowling at the younger generation. I want to be one of those marvelous old ladies covered in scarves who rock in their chairs with mysterious smiles, remembering the scandalous affairs of their youth!'

"'Why, Ann Morrow!' My roommate's green eyes deepened. 'You sly creature! I guess still waters really do run deep!' (pg. 53)"

In this next passage, you can see Anne begin to understand what she has ahead of her at the beginning of her marriage:

"'Are you sure?' I asked anxiously, twisting the tie of my robe in knots. 'Are you sure you want me?'

"'Of course. Who else would I want? Who else would I trust but you, my wife? I would like my eggs now, if you please.'

I could only stare at him, overwhelmed by all that was expected of me. Last night, I realized suddenly, had only just been the beginning. Charles Lindbergh had chosen me; that, in itself, had been enormous enough to absorb, and I hadn't quite finished doing so. But now I began to understand what that really meant. I would be not only his wife but his copilot. I would not only make his eggs but steer his course to the Orient.

"I started to say, 'I'll try,' but stopped myself just in time. I understood that 'try' would not be an acceptable answer.

"Instead I said, 'Of course. How do you like them?'

"'Over easy.'

"'Perfect. That's just how I like my own eggs.'

"I did not like my eggs over easy. But it would be simpler, I knew, to pretend that I did(pg. 97)."

Of course, I'll leave the conclusion and the plot points undisclosed. It was so interesting to discover this famous couple that captured America's attention for so long (I hadn't known anything about Charles Lindbergh beyond his initial solo flight). Benjamin's writing masterfully drew me in--I felt invested in Anne and found her transformation throughout the novel satisfying. 

After completing the book, this story sent me to Google, researching more about the fascinating Mrs. Lindbergh, a symptom of what historical fiction at its best can accomplish. That should make the author happy, as she herself wrote: "As a historical novelist, the most gratifying thing I hear is that the reader was inspired, after reading my work of fiction, to research these remarkable people's lives further." 

Next, I think I may have to read some of the books Anne wrote and get to know her a little better! 

Book of the Week: The Giver

Like many of you, I first read Lois Lowry's The Giver in elementary school. I remembered it being the first book that not only transmitted me to another time and place, but also created a whole new set of rules for a different kind of world and society. It was, I see now, my introduction to dystopian fiction. 

Recently, I had noticed several different authors citing The Giver as one of the influential books that shaped them and their work. I was interested in rereading it as an adult and spent an afternoon doing so while my husband sat nearby studying all that sciency stuff he studies in medical school. 

Then, after a show at a school in New Jersey, an eighth grader was talking about how he hates reading, but that his principal had given him a book and he was enjoying it. What was the book? I asked. The Giver! It was pretty neat to tell him I had just reread it and we chatted about it for a few seconds. So then I knew I needed to share it here, as well-- whether you've read it before or this is the first you've heard of it, take my recommendation and go check it out of the library!

The book was inspired by a conversation Lowry had with her son, then serving in the armed forces, who prompted her with questions about why suffering exists in life. Lowry explores the need of pain, pleasure, and emotion by creating what initially seems like a utopian society where each member's language, dreams, actions, and careers are carefully guided and monitored. The main character is 12 year old Jonas. He is anxious to discover what his career assignment will be, but everyone is surprised when he is chosen to be the Receiver--the next elder in the society who will hold the memory of experiences in history that are now withheld from the rest of the community. Memories of color, snow, and even the concept of family. 

After reading it again, I watched a few interviews Lowry gave about her work. I discovered she's actually tackled this topic in three subsequent books, making The Giver a quartet. I've requested them from the library and I can't wait to read them. Something she said in one interview really struck me: "Young people, young readers, believe they can change the world." That inspired me because I remember reading when I was younger and feeling a fire beneath my feet--I felt like I could do something about whatever it was I was reading and learning. I hope that I can tap into that belief and write stories that give that same assurance to young readers today.