Confidence

This is one of our trainers at work, Tim,

reenacting his crushing blow to a clay

flower pot with a hammer.

{Applicable Emperor's New Groove quote:

"And I'll smash it with a hammer!!!!"}

Tim started the morning by having us sit at the table, close and cozy. He explained that we had been hired because we had some characteristics that were perfect for the job.

Then he placed the clay pot on the table.

I was fully anticipating some handfuls of soil and fertilizer with a chummy analogy about the training process adding to what we were already bringing to the table, me+company=plant/flower growing, etc.

Instead, he pulled a hammer out of nowhere

and clobbered the pot.

Remember, he just told me that the pot represented me.

He expounded upon what we understood through the surprising but brilliant object lesson:

sometimes, when you learn something new, you might feel like no one wants what you have to offer and you're never going to get it right. You might feel like you're getting shot down

and that no one understand you.

He explained that we were hired because we have what they want, but now they're molding us to be exactly what the company produces. Using what we have is super important, but it may feel like we're falling short. And when someone points out how they want you to change the work you're doing--especially when it's work that you're putting your heart and personal effort into--

that can be disheartening. 

So, what are we taking home from this?

1. I have a cool boss

2. Yeah, it sucks when someone corrects you,

 but we get that it's to help us succeed.

3. YOU are still the important, essential aspect in this equation,

and it is up to YOU to remember that.

Can you give me a personal example, Jess?

Yes, yes I can.

I was feeling all self-doubty and down on myself.

Because I let some of the comments at work make me

second-guess my capacity to do this job.

I lost confidence, and felt like I couldn't please anyone.

I felt like I was under a microscope all day at the office,

 and I couldn't wait to get back to my hotel room

 just so I could take a break from being scutinized.

Then, one night, I told myself, "Jess, to hell with them. You know they're just trying to help. But either way, whether they like your work or not, you are the one doing the job you were hired to do. So you are the one who gets to decide how you're going to do it."

The next day, I tried to put my heart back into my work and do my best.

But I got a few corrections from Tim and I faltered again.

So I said, "Tim, I feel like I'm failing a test everytime we work through this. I know I can do this. But I'm afraid to try because everything I do initiates four people's opinions and feedback. I know the feedback is meant to be productive, and it would be except that I shut down when I think I'm failing, and I'm interpreting the feedback as 'Hey, you're not doing that right.' I'm not asking you to change what you're doing. I'm just telling you what I'm thinking, because I'm going to stop thinking that, right now. And I need you to know, that I'm just going to do this the way I would do it."

He said, "Oh yeah. It's not a test at all. And you're doing great..." He basically told me what I knew: that I was right on course. Him telling me this did not give me my confidence.

Me telling him that I knew I could do it gave me my confidence.

I had the best day at work following that conversation,

 because I finally clicked into that magical place where you believe in yourself

and you allow yourself to do work without trying to please everyone.

Ironically, everyone is so happy

 because you're doing better work.

It's hard to remember that YOU know what YOU are doing.

Getting better, trying new things, being brave

these things sometimes make us feel like

someone is beating the crap out of us with a hammer.

Yeah, growing and becoming more than we are hurts.

But we can't forget that WE are still the essence of this experience.

Because of who we are right now, becoming better is a possibility. It doesn't mean that who we are isn't good. It means that who we are is so amazing that we're ready to become more.

And brilliantly, the way life works, everything we've become and experienced up until today has been preparing us for the things we're attempting now.

If you feel like you aren't cutting it,

remember that doubting yourself will halt your ability

to be yourself

and use the very talents and special skills that got you to this challenge in the first place.

You can do anything

if you believe that you can do anything.