Saturday in Seattle

I went to the famous Pike Place market yesterday.

It was totally my kind of scene.

The produce was beautiful, and reminded me of Korea^^

Everyone was friendly, which was nice.

Don't squeeze the avocodos...

{Grease}

I accepted generous offers of apple slices and bites of pear...so delicious!

I also tried some chocolate pasta. Two favorites brought together at last.

Lunch at the delicious Beecher's Handmade Cheese shop.

Watching the cheese-making process...

Delicious homemade tomato soup topped with

fresh cheese and herb-roasted croutons

accompanied my perfectly-toasted

fresh cheese grilled sandwich.

Perfect for the cold, rainy day.

Then I ordered dessert from the bakery.

{Why wouldn't I??}

I ate my delicious cinnamon pull-apart bread

as I listened to this beautiful man playing the piano on the corner.

He was singing the honky-tonk blues one minute

then pulling out some classical pieces that filled the street

with a classic, turn-of-the-century ambience.

Also saw a clown making balloon swords for kids.

And a Korean gentleman playing for tips.

And of course, I stopped and watch the famous fish guys.

They were so...pleasant.

Honestly put a smile on my face to watch them

have fun while they worked.

Everything was super fresh

and I'm still craving a good home-grilled salmon.

The shops were so fun, too!

This store had spices from all around the world.

Books in every nook and cranny

It was my kind of day.

And I thought to myself, "I could live here."

p.s. I started the day at the Seattle Temple.

It was lovely.

Isn't it beautiful in the cloudy sky?

Well, I thought I was over you

This one time, I was in love.

And it didn't work out.

My heart was a smoldering pile of ground hamburger.

The only way to heal that, is to let it be

while you run through life like a zombie.

Then, slowly, you hand one piece of heartache over the Lord.

He heals it.

And then you hand Him another piece, when you're ready.

Piece by piece.

My heart was healed.

Back at the beginning of that process

I put everything in a box.

And walked away.

I lived a good year of learning a lot

and growing so much.

And then I got this great new job

and I'm moving to BOSTON!

but I had to clean out my storage closet

and the box where I saved stuff.

Like pictures of his hands, and a coke bottle he mailed to me

with a love letter inside

I was scared to see inside.

I still think about him.

And sometimes when I really feel alone

or pensive

I do a good job of talking myself into calling him.

Or showing up at his house.

(Not great ideas, believe me.)

Instead I call my dad,

who is like my AA sponsor,

 except for this boy I was madly in love with

and head over heels addicted to for 6 years.

And he reminds me that I am strong

and that I should make choices based on what I really want.

So opening that box might mean

my worst fear would be confirmed:

That I wasn't over him.

That I'd never be over him.

That there was a terrible mistake in my life course

and there was never any hope

of me finding someone I could love more, or better.

It was easier than expected.

I cried a little when I held a necklace he gave me.

I laughed a little when I looked through our pictures.

I'll always love who he was back then.

but

Now it's time to really let it go.

So I put some special momentos in the bottom of a box

and gave the rest away.

This was my Tyler Blanket:

I gave it to a cute kid standing on the corner of the highway

holding a cardboard sign.

"I could use a blanket," he said

as he grabbed it out of my car window.

Glad it went to someone who could use it.

Here's the bottom line, folks.

Love is good.

It is good to love and to pass through joy and sorrow.

And it is good to let it go, when you're ready.

There isn't a clean cut;

 for me this boy will never be completely severed

from my heart.

But you have days when the future feels

clear and clean and you anticipate

filling your heart with a new someone.

Because you choose to let go of the last someone.

Now I am ready for the next great love of my life.