Breaking up is hard to do

I remember in the mornings
Strange to be in the shadow of that same
space where you scooped me,
pressed me to you
and looked into my eyes
with your green eyes.

I feel restless when I'm driving
There isn't any music
anymore; all the songs are used up.
All I hear is static and
my mind plays your words and my words
over and over.

You were an answer to this prayer
No really, I prayed for this
more than once,
and even now I know I'm getting
exactly what I want.

What do I want?

Blast my impatient, eager heart.
The whole time I was wishing
you would fight me or hug me
or kiss me
Just tell me
I was what you wanted.

I'm relieved I didn't string you along
Scared of regret
Angry I can't see the end from the beginning
when I'm choosing my path.
I'm happy to dream
but I'm insatiable
I sacrifice and gamble
and I hope.

Don't lose hope.
I'm grateful for you
and for knowing joy
and sorrow.

I pray for bridges now
and timing. There isn't a path
It's my first time
building trails and tracks
learning as I go.
There are reasons we're here,
why we built our bridge.

I'm in a world of bridges and trails and twisty tangled
stairs that lead to
the darkest, most vast sky
and I'll leap
I'm flying now
leaning into the wind and trusting,
throwing light as I go
and hoping
that this path is the one
that I want.

Traditions

Hope you're ready for waaayyy too many pictures....we get a little self-indulgent around Halloween and we had a great time this year. I was the Queen of Hearts^^. I'm pretty proud of the crown, it took some careful engineering to make.

Two of my three favorite people....missing Codfish! He sent me some sweet pictures from a party he went to with mom in Cali:

Vampire, inspired by his recent immersion into literary adventures.

 All the aunts and uncles gathered at Nana's house for homemade cream soup and bread. These are the "big cousins"---so fun that we still all meet up on All Hallow's Eve to see each other. And crazy to see all the little cousins doing exactly what we did every year growing up.

 Nana stayed home to pass out caramel popcorn balls while the rest of us hit the streets for some trick or treating and visiting of the neighbors.

Rachel wasn't actually this exhausted by the time we finished and sorted candy back at the house....she kept making zombie faces in every picture; after shouting, "CHEESE!" she'd pull a weird face for the camera. She's a goof, just like the rest of us.

Halloween is a special day for my sister. It's sort of like her birthday, in a way. This was her third ensemble of the weekend. She's pretty amazing at coming up with wicked costumes.

 

And for my favorite photo of the night....

the girls and Dad.

Don't think he doesn't dress up--

he looked amazing at a party over the weekend:

Backstage

All the ladies in our dressing room at My Fair Lady are great; between Zumba-ing in our bloomers and sharing our life stories over apple-pie flavored gum, we've bonded to say the least.  This is Elisse; we're prepping for wigs. We have quite a few in this show:

I like the classic bangs on this one.

Backstage, when we're not trying to fit in a few calorie-burning tap dance moves, we pose and take pictures of our awesome costumes.

This is L.J. She makes gourmet cupcakes, no big deal. Except it is totally a Big. Deal. They are delicious.

Voices

This boy can sing. He's been singing in front of
thousands of Americans, on television, at school, on tour.

But my favorite is when he sings just for me,
when it's just the two of us.

October Stuff

This is my niece; I've been seeing a bunch of her this month, it's been delightful. Right now, she watches Hocus Pocus several times every day. She also believes that Nana's black cat will talk on Halloween Day, just like Thackery Binks in the film. I love that girl. October is zipping by, and it has been busy! A few things we've been doing:

Hands? I'm in the running for a hand model commercial. These pictures uncomfortably remind me of the Halloween party my mom is planning in California this weekend: she's making an entire edible cadaver. Gross.

Annual thank-you party at work was a black tie masquerade.

They played the most hilarious games, including musical chairs on the mobile, rotating stage with blind-folded contestants, who scrambled and fought over the remaining chairs in their formal wear.

Meanwhile, Elisse and I are having a blast at the show; we dress up as burlesque girls and jump out of a giant wedding cake. This week, however, I got stuck in the cake! I couldn't get out! Arms, elbows, head, neck, and a little bit of shoulder---this was all the audience could see of me as I tried to scramble up over the edge.

TS came to see opening night.

And random: I've been learning a few yo-yo tricks. It's a ton of fun, and surprisingly addictive.

As I catch up on the goodness of October, I have to mention all the Good food. Everywhere. Every day. Everybody wants to bake for everyone. At the theatre, they feed us salmon, filet mignon, and every kind of dessert you can name. Today, I tried GUAVA CAKE. It was delectable.